Eye of the Tiger: Ben-isms

If eyebrows developed to stop sweat running into your eyes when you are running away from a sabre-toothed tiger, why do old men’s eyebrows grow and grow…when they are too old to run. Answers on a postcard please.

Builders sawing bricks outside. Incredible noise. Brick dust has settled on my lunch. On the plus side, I won’t need to add pepper.

COOKING TIPS FROM BEN!! Brie not ripe? Simply:

  • (1) Remove all packaging. Place brie on plate in microwave.
  • (2) Microwave for 2 mins and 30 seconds for 700w microwave (allow 2 mins for 800w).
  • (3) Lie down on floor.
  • (4) Open mouth.
  • (5) Allow brie to drip off ceiling onto your tongue.

The time has come…for the time to come.

Sitting here thinking about ambergris, spermaceti, shagreen and the ampullae of lorenzini. If you’d like to start a conversation on any of these topics, Nurse Ratched will show you to my room…

The straws are collecting on the camel’s back.

Fawlty, my new basil plant, drinks so much water, I fear it’s an aquaholic.

Never had a blister THERE before.

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