More Ben-isms: February Round Up

gold watch

For a while I thought time had stood still for me. Then I realised I needed a new watch battery.

I have solved my London summer waking at 4am problem! Moving to the Eastern Seaboard of the USA (which is 5 hours behind). Anyone have a spare room?

I have discovered an easy way to make $1,000. If you send me $1,000 I’ll share my secret.

I don’t know that I know that I don’t know that I know.

Today is set to be the hottest day of the year in the UK. Depends on your definition of “hot”.

The headache and breathing problems caused by the chlorine/chloramines in my local swimming pool have been joined by another, potentially more serious symptom. Now my bath is clogged.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: No one is interested in my thought of the day.

I had my hair cut today by a man aged 72 who said he had been cutting hair for 54 years. There are 100,000 follicles on the head – let’s say he cuts 1/2 inch off on average, 10 times a day, 220 days a year. If you laid the cut hair end-to-end, that would make approx. 90,000 miles of hair – or enough to wrap around the equator 3.6 times. (Note to self: get a life)

I wish my smoke alarm would learn to recognize my cooking skills.

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